Just something to say,
Am fed up with the ex-pat community here, except for a couple of couples…. I sometimes feel as though I am out of the loop although I am here.
Is suppose it is because I am not a motorist who does coffee mornings or gossip……
I hear a little here and hear a little there…. But am still out of the loop.
I suppose I would like to be included but I do not want to be ‘central’ to all, like some and I hate to appear to be 'nosy'.
I am happy that I have some really wonderful reliable friends (both English as well as French).
I find that our French friends have no axe to grind, they accept us as we are and, it seems, that our very reliable English friends out here are the ones that have only had one marriage partner (usually of many, many years). Now I am not being ‘marriage-ist’ but it seems that those who have had multiple marriages/partners seem to be the ones that are ‘not on the level’, are up for gossip, and putting down and ‘gossiping’ about their ‘friends’. My experience shows that those who have just have had one marriage are the truest friends (there are, though, exceptions to the rule as in most things – and you know who you are!).
I have done favours for people and a good friend has said that she has done the same but then there are those that who do not reciprocate – funnily enough it is in within the same group..
Incidentally I hate American spell check – favour or favor? – I will go for the English and re-educate my computer.. even down to the number of full stops I put!!! Or even exclamation marks, yeah!!!!!
After nearly 10 years here in the country I love, I am inclined to drop acquaintances and just let them get on with their own devices and live my life without them. When I come to think of it, there were very few people in the UK that I would count as ‘good’ reliable friends, I should follow my instincts as I did then.
Although, coming to think of it, what I hear (discreetly) could make a good book!!
Something to think about……
And the gossip is not just trivial stuff...it is hurtful too.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, what they accuse others of is what they do themselves...real pot and kettle work!
I think some of those who do the gossiping and taking advantage of other people's good nature would be surprised just how much one knows of their activities.....go on, publish and be damned!
You're out of the loop because you don't join in or tolerate the nastiness and dishonesty, that's why.
Trisha
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved over I made a point of not trying to mix with the Brits.
Sometimes though, I'd be in a bar and the patron would say "Kate" (they all used to call me Kate - couldn't get the hang of Keith), "There's an English couple there. Do you know them?"
And I'd be introduced and the conversation would ALWAYS be....
1). How large is your Longere (and how many acres of land?)
2). What sort of 4 Wheel Drive Car do you own?
3). How big is your income (and where does it come from?)
Funnily enough, as soon as I mentioned that I lived in a small one bedroom rented bungalow (built out of breezeblocks - not even proper stone, heavens forbid!)
And that I rode a pushbike rather than drove a car and...
Worked in the local pig abattoir for minimum wage....
My new found friends always found I wasn't of interest, after all?
All the best
Keith
P.S. Agree with the good book bit!
A little late in replying Fly and Keith, but I know exactly what you mean. In my neck of the woods the English population has increased far too much in the last couple of years..... it does not bode well!! I loved the simplicity of my (our) life out here but it has changed. We were 'quiet' in Kent (we are both Kentish) and love to be 'quiet' out here.
ReplyDeleteAm thinking seriously about the book though, got to think about supplementing the pension!!
Also Keith, sounds as though you may be in the Vendee although I know differently... I hear from acquaintances there who have the same problem..
ReplyDeleteWe have a few English friends, including the odd couple the other side of the valley, Hi Keef, but not many, we don't avoid the English, sort of reverse snobbery that some do, but we don't feel the need to seek them out, when told we "must" visit this place or that place "because that's where all the English are" I really can't be bothered. I don't choose my friends on nationality, We have friends who are French, English and Romanian, we make friends on shared interests and how much of Paul they will tolerate.
ReplyDelete