I know my last posting was a bit dire, that is how I felt, really dire.
Generally things are fine. There are positive notes from our children and our grandchildren are doing very well.
Little TJ is gaining weight all the time and is looking so pink! His mum is coping very well, I do not know where she gets the strength, obviously there is a deep resource somewhere.
No 1 daughter is fine, she is doing what she just loves to do, messing around with chemicals and teaching students her craft, this is in the absence of the tutor who is off sick.
Youngest daughter has decided, at long last, to leave her partner of many years. He has been a waste of space as far as I am concerned and she, and their children, will fare better without him in the equation.
Motherhood can be difficult. You do your best for your children and hope that they do the best for their children.
So, this year has seen some changes.
I have taken Himself to various corners of the world in the hope that he may come out of himself and start to enjoy life.
No joy. Friends have asked, ‘how was your holiday?’ his reply ‘the flight was crap, couldn’t stand the airports, seats were awful & etc.’ eventually he will say how his actual holiday was but you really need to winkle it out of him. He only looks at the negative.
This is not good for me as I love the positive part of life. I suppose we cancel each other out and end up neutral. What a laugh that is!
He has said though that he would like to do a cruise!!! Something to look forward to, maybe..
Generally he goes to bed around 9.00 pm – he starts drinking early and 3 or 4 hours later all he wants to do is sleep… I have really boring evenings.
Maybe I should go into chat rooms and find someone to talk to, but then I think that could be the slippery road to heavens knows what.
I have joined a keep fit class and fortunately know a couple of like minded ladies to go with. Had my first session last week, left home 6.30pm got home just after 8.00 pm and instead of getting home to a nice meal I arrive to someone who admitted he was completely drunk!!
I wanted to leave.
I cooked the meal that was basically prepared, and very nice it was too.
I was very disappointed and annoyed.
I said very little – what is the point when you will only get verbal abuse.
Oh dear, it is not as bad as it seems, mainly mental not physical.... I do have to tread so carefully with him, bearing in mind we have been married so very long and know what his reactions can be. I only give him a bollocking (good word!) when he is sober in the morning. He says he takes it on board but, hey ho, does he?