Monday, 19 August 2013

I am not responsible for his health problems, for his aches or pains, he is… he is not a child.

If he does not take his medication to help then tough, if he does not arrange to go and see a physio to help his pains then tough.  

I am not his nurse, or his doctor. 

Yes I am his wife but there is only so much one can take and one can do, if I suggest anything to help then I am nagging.  

I get angry with him as he will not help himself.

He is not in danger of losing his life or his ability to walk….. at the moment.

He has little clots in his bloodstream, he has an aneurysm (aorta) that is being monitored. He has COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and will not do anything to help improve his lung function or even his general health.

How on earth he has made 70 years is amazing..

He is basically a lazy person.

He can swim but will he go for the health benefits? No

He has been told to walk 1km a day – will he do more? No

He is, or seems to be, dependent on alcohol, probably now an alcoholic although he does not drink during the day but can put half a bottle brandy or home brew pineau away in an evening after beer and wine.
I find him very difficult to live with.

We do not talk without arguing or even seem to have anything in common… but then did we in the beginning?


  1. Yes of course you did...and then you were bringing up the family, so important to both of you...and now it's retirement which you see in differing ways.

    No easy answers and I wouldn't insult you by suggesting that there were...but I found from my own experience that the more worried someone is the more they will resist doing something about the problem so sometimes backing off for a while can be productive - though instinctively it seems counter productive.

  2. Over the last few weeks he has been collecting wood for our fire. He is out there clearing, chainsawing, chopping and stacking wood. He has lost weight, his breathing has improved and he has lost weight... He got into this regime because I was working my socks off in the house - he felt he should be doing something too. All psychological methinks. He definitely looks fitter! I advise and that is as far as it goes.

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