It is three days since he has seen M. le Chirurgien, (I just cannot get my English tongue around that word!) at our local wonderful hospital. M. le Chirurgien said that my man is OK, he is healing well and if there is any problem to come back and see him. Yes, fine, the nurse also said the same, ‘call me if there is a problem.’
So after the consultation we went to Lidl for a cheap shop (at the mo the bank balance is low and we have to budget again (Grrrrr)). Anyway, we bought stuff at discount (?) price and came home. I said I would bring the shopping in….. so what does he do? The manly stuff and brings in two heavy bags. I am not a weak female, I am capable of carrying a few kilos of shopping into the house…. Grrrr. He will not listen to me.
How on earth did he think I managed before. I am not weak. I am able to lift weights and carry them distances (albeit short), so I have had to shout at him a lot. “Noooo, put that down!!!” “I can do it” he said. “Don’t you dare try to lift that!” I say, “don’t worry, I can cope with it.” But he still insisted on bringing the two bags into the house.
He then sat down and said “I shouldn’t have done that!”
I growled!
Then I say “Maybe one day you will have to look after me and write the shopping list, sort, wash, dry and iron the laundry, change the bed linen, plan and cook the meals, sweep, vacuum and mop the floors, polish and dust the furniture, wash the windows, weed the garden (by the house), change the beds, clean the bathrooms, sort the finances, fill out the tax returns etc…..” He sat and looked at me and said nothing!!! I am able to cope with many things… Sod the vegetable patch, take me to the supermarket! Give me someone to cut the grass…. I can cope with growing flowers and also herbs for culinary uses.
He is healing. Slowly.
He and I have been married since St Valentines Day 1970… Long time!!
We had known each other for three years before getting married….. Long time!!!
Now, since 1967 my dear husband has, to my recollection, had a few surgical interventions. He had an operation on his wrist, he had surgery on his parotid gland which was furred up like a kettle, then he had another 4 operations relating to the same thing. His Piles needed sorting as well! Then he had problems with his neck (could have been paralyzed from neck down!). Prior to me knowing him he also had surgery on his knee/leg… and so it goes on. He enjoys ill health!
Me? I do not do ill people!!!!
I do not have empathy or sympathy… so when he coughs or sneezes I turn away. I know he can be a bit of a drama queen and will exaggerate his illnesses but I do not have time or patience for it.
Am I a bad person?
On a lighter note, our eldest daughter did the three peaks challenge in 23 hours 35 minutes this weekend, including injury time for one of the climbers. Bless her and her husband. Didn’t they do well??
What will they want to conquer next?
He's a man, Trisha! 'Nuff said..... Been married to another stubborn male since 1968, who now has a painful hip but simply won't go to see the the doctor. You have my entire sympathy.
ReplyDeleteMen!
ReplyDeleteI know Mr. Fly is basically just ill...I know life isn't easy for him...and I know it takes him a lot of effort just to keep going....but when someone calls and makes the fatal mistake of asking how he is they get the whole caboodle...an organ recital!
We were in court recently and the judge made the fatal mistake on seeing him totter to his feet...it took twenty minutes and then the damn fool judge got interested and starting questions...!
Another man.
Why were women incorrectly programmed to answer enquiries as to one's health with a simple
'I'm fine'?
I have just had a 2 week visit from my mother in law who has thyroid, heart, diabetes, breast cancer, bad teeth, aching shoulder, blood pressure problems. Endless pills and aches and pains. I have been sooooooooooo patient but it drives me nuts. It made me understand that if I am helping someone then they jolly well have to do what I want them to do or I lose patience completely.
ReplyDeletePS why do men with colds have to do quite so much wafting of snotty handkerchiefs?
(Rosie but says I'm anonymous)
Thank you ladies, for your comments . We (females) reach a certain age and find that we suddenly have to change our occupation. Are we born carers? We have joyous childhoods, amazing teenage years (hopefully) wonderful sexual twenties/thirties/forties then maybe, all change! Men are looked after from cradle to grave by mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, wives, daughters etc. whether they are blood relatives of not!
ReplyDeletePerpetua, Oh do persist and maybe he will hear sense.
Fly, our progamming - well I hope my daughters and grand-daughters are re-wired, they seem to be at the moment!
Rosie, I wish you well with your M.I.L. and snotty handkerchiefs - I burnt his years ago - Kleenex anytime!