My lovely sister lost her battle/fight, however one would describe such a thing, with cancer early Friday morning.....
It was so sudden, my whole family are shocked to the core at the speed of her death.
'Oh,' said the medics 'she has a few months, time to get the necessary affairs sorted.' 'We will keep her comfortable & etc......'
'Oh' we said 'We will all have a chance to see her and say our goodbyes.'
WRONG!
I am going through all sorts of emotions at the moment... Anger is to the fore most of the time. Angry that she did not stop smoking. Angry that I did not have that last chat with her. Angry that she in all probability knew she had cancer. Angry that my mother has lost a child. Angry that her children have lost their mother. Angry that her grandchildren have lost their grandmother. Angry that her partner, who is so devoted, is now alone again.
So, I am off to the UK for not the best of reasons.
I know I will feel calmer once I have seen my family.
It was so sudden, my whole family are shocked to the core at the speed of her death.
'Oh,' said the medics 'she has a few months, time to get the necessary affairs sorted.' 'We will keep her comfortable & etc......'
'Oh' we said 'We will all have a chance to see her and say our goodbyes.'
WRONG!
I am going through all sorts of emotions at the moment... Anger is to the fore most of the time. Angry that she did not stop smoking. Angry that I did not have that last chat with her. Angry that she in all probability knew she had cancer. Angry that my mother has lost a child. Angry that her children have lost their mother. Angry that her grandchildren have lost their grandmother. Angry that her partner, who is so devoted, is now alone again.
So, I am off to the UK for not the best of reasons.
I know I will feel calmer once I have seen my family.
Anger and grief are twins....
ReplyDeleteBut you are right...once you see your family you will have and will give support.... and coping will at least seem possible.
I am thinking of you.
I'm so sorry. Fly is right. Anger and grief are two sides of a coin and can feel overwhelming. Safe journey and I hope you can find and give the comfort and support you all need.
ReplyDelete